I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
