Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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