I just saw a hot homeless man
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
