My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
