return my video game
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
