do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
