That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
