i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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