You're so nebulous sometimes
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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