in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
