thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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