In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
