did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
