I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
