dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
