I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
