Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize