if you like me you must not know who I am
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
