Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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