just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
