I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
