I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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