I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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