why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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