I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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