Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
