One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
