woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
