if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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