And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
