That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
