I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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