morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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