Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
