im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
