Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize