someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
