Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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