and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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