When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
