At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
