Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
