Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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