Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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