Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
