The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just gargled with NyQuil
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
