hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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