Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
