He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had to cum in my sink.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
