U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
