Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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