you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
