just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
