two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everything about him screamed your future.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
