Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
